A Pain Beyond Life
by korasami
Summary: ...Must Always Lead To Death. In a world of darkness, not even the cruellest of havens can fulfil the sick need of revenge. Rating changed to T, too lazy to change that in the story :/ WARNING: Possible triggers. *oneshot*


(Spoilers)

Grr! I HAAAAATE the season 6 (and season 5 for that matter) on NewWho. I actually cried when I saw the most recent episode (Day of the Moon or something like that) it was soo lame! I threw a shoe at the TV when (what is probably) Amy's daughter regenerated…although 'Time Head' did make me laugh. I cried when River and the Doctor kissed. I suppose that kills my theory that River's the Doctor's mom. Oh well. I just had a strange image of the 1st Doctor and River kissing. Ew.

Warning: Character death and suicide. Not for the Amy lovers. Not for faint hearted. Rated M. No smut, sex, lemons, etc. Slight spoilers, although this never actually happened.

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. I'm just a silly girl from the States, trying to pass school with a 'C' average. Sorry for spelling errors :(

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><p>"There is a book that is said to hold the reason of life itself. It is also said to be empty."<p>

-Anonymous

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><p>Amy looked around, her eyes full of insanity. Was this the end? Would this be her final day? It didn't make sense—it couldn't make sense. <em>He<em> would have told her! But the he's gone. Dead, if it mattered. He'd abandoned her at Rory's funeral. It made sense, she supposed. It was his way of things, leaving when the damage was done. And it was all his fault. One last trip, he'd said. Before he regenerated. He'd known all about the adventure from a future incarnation, he'd said. But why didn't he stop it? Why didn't he just…avoid this? Avoid this terrible outcome, this terrible fate.

Amy rolled the silver blade over her pale palm, allowing droplets of blood to squeeze from her skin. It had been her way of life for the past few months. Cutting, bruising, drinking. All thanks to the man she once loved. The father of her only-now dead-child. The Doctor.

Yes, she knew she loved him, ever since he'd landed in her front yard and broken her silly little tree house. Sure, he had been, at the time, more of a parental figure than a lover, her raggedy Doctor, in his odd big blue box with the swimming pool in the Library and the Zero Room where she used to spend hours in. Oh, how Amy longed for the days when she was still an innocent. And she longed for the Doctor. The heartless bastard who ruined her life in more ways that any outsider could observe.

She didn't even wince as the blade sliced through her wrist, blood spilling out like a waterfall. Raising her arm to her mouth, she parted her lips and rolled out her tongue, lapping up the salty, red water. It was her cruel way of starving herself.

She then brought the knife up to her hair. In one swift motion, she sliced a large chunk of it out. This action was repeated again and again. Her dirty red hair fell to the floor, congealing with the pools of blood. Then the blade moved to her fingers.

Amy didn't know why this gave her pleasure. She caressed the knife with her long fingers, slicing the skin deeper and deeper until she swore she could see her bone. It was disgusting, but she knew she had to continue. She knew her obsession and depression would get the best of her. And it would cost her her life. Her short, painful life full of waiting.

"Waiting," she mumbled. It was the first time she'd spoken in weeks, and her voice was cracked and raspy. "I've been waiting for you, Theta," tears spilled down her bruised and bloodied cheeks, causing the self-inflicted wounds to sting. "and now you're waiting for me."

Setting down the knife, held up a finger—her ring finger, where her wedding and engagement rings sat, smeared with her thick, warm blood. A deep splinter of flesh erupted from where the nail used to have been. Holding the digit up to her oddly dry teeth, she knawed on the surface until a new leak of blood flowed from inside. Through the tears in her eyes, she could see a strange, white glint in the finger. She gnawed at that too.

Amy's eyes were getting droopy. "D-Doctor…" she moaned. "I f-fucking h-hate you…" with a last gasp of breath, a tearful whisper of "Rory" could be heard. She was rejoining her love at last.

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><p>The dark room filled with the groaning sounds of the Doctor's TaRDiS, and out strolled a man—a new man, with a different face. He had dark brown skin and hair to match. But anyone who knew him would know he was the Doctor. Who else could he be?<p>

This man was shocked to find Amy Williams to be in the state she was in. He bounced towards her, humming a tune. Then he realized he was too late.

She was dead.

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><p>Alrighty. I think this is my first Doctor Who story, and I'm proud of it. I don't like Amy at all, and watching the newest episode made me want to write this. I hope you enjoyed this. After all, I did warn you, so don't flame me for the dark themes. I do think it's a bit rushed, though.<p>

I can wait for tomorrow (Saturday). Honestly, I'm only watching the crap season because I'm a die-hard Doctor Who fan, and I'm not ashamed. But I do hate Steven Moffat. He's worse than John Nathan-Turner! Honestly, Doctor Who is turning into a shitty soap opera!

xx love yall xx

reviews inspire love 3

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